Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Best Table Ever

Random consequences for your drunken whoring? Yeah, we do that.


1. You're in love! You're going to have to go visit her EVERY TIME you're in town. 1d100% of your wealth goes to her during those visits as well. Save vs. your wisdom to break this cycle.2. You're in love, but it ain't because you wanna be! She tosses a charm person on your ass. Use your version's rules to adjudicate. 1d100% of your wealth goes to her every time you see her.3. Mamma got a squeeze-box... you didn't regain any health or rest enough to gain spells. You are one tired puppy. In fact, you're basically at risk for constitution rolls until you get a full day's rest. You stud!4. You're married! Congrats! 1d20% of your wealth went to the drunken wedding party after. Now you have to support 1d10 family members (parents, grandparents, siblings, children) too. 5. The pimp wasn't in no mood to see his bitch with you. 1d4 hp loss from the fight. 25% chance the local law got involved. 50/50 they believe you or him.6. Man, you run your mouth. If you are in possession of knowledge of some great treasure, very likely the local thugs are going to go after it first. Roll vs. intelligence to be aware that you ran your suck.7. Man, she ran her mouth! Good thing you were listening and now you're in possession of an oral treasure map. I hope you got those directions right.8. Go see the cleric for that Cure Disease spell. You need it, badly.9. Go see the cleric for that Cure Poison spell. Don't even ask.10. You shouldn't have called her THAT while she was ... well, you know. Not only did you take 1d4hp damage, but there's a 10% chance you ... well... suffered a scarring injury. Since I'm equal-gender offensive, this could count for both sexes.11. She wasn't who you thought she was! Now the local ruling class is UPSET that you've besmirched her honor. Better bribe or run.12. She wasn't what you thought she was! Polymorphed ugly bad monster. Roll for initiative...13. The law breaks down the door and you're in chains for murdering the working ladies. Except... you didn't. But she is messed up. What are you going to do? 14. You wake up cocooned in spider webbing in the middle of the wilderness. WTF?!?!15. You wake up in a graveyard in a coffin. WTF?!?!?16. You wake up in your own bed and there are strange marks all over your body. They don't wash off. Everyone now avoids you and makes the sign of warding evil. And why do you keep hearing evil laughter in the silence?17. You have the Gamblers Debt Mark! Just how much did you drink and why don't you remember gambling away your future? Who owns the mark? And when will they collect?18. You sly dog! Now she wants to work for you. And she says she has some information that could make you King of the Underworld. Do you trust her?19. ROBBED! 1d100% of your wealth and 1d6 items of yours are gone! 20. You wake up tied to an altar with a bunch of Amazonian women chanting to a very nasty looking demon idol. Wait... what are you doing with that knife THERE??!?!

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